Adventures in Mac World – Apple Mac Cusomer Care – Rant

Posted by Marten on Jul 23, 2012 in Personal | 2 comments

Once upon a time, many moons ago, there was a photography student who listened to stories of a promised land called Mac world. The photographer, although no longer young, listened to the wise words of college lecturers, graphic designers and other photographers who promised a magical world of trouble free computing, amazing customer care and a virus free world. The photographer decided that he too wanted to live in this magical kingdom and so he ventured out and bought a 27” iMac, a 24” second monitor, Timemachine and many wondrous programmes.

For a while all was well in Mac world but then the second monitor began to fade out and back again. Sometimes the underworld gremlins would visit everyday and at other times they wouldn’t be seen for many days. The photographer took the bold step of contacting the heads of Mac world and spent many hours talking to numerous mystical creatures who ran quick fixes and long fixes, uninstalled software and re-installed software and ran diagnostic programmes. Always the results were the same. The gremlins can and the gremlins went; and the mystical technicians vanished and couldn’t be contacted again.

Never fear, the photographer was told, we’ll send your Mac and second monitor away to a wonderous workshop and it will come back restored and revitalised. The Mac went away once, twice, thrice, but still the gremlins returned. The Mac and second monitor were now spending over 10% of their time in the wonderous workshop. College assignments came and went. Weddings came and went. Exhibitions came and went. The gremlins came and went – and came.

The iMac and monitor went away to the wondrous workshop for a fourth time. As usual the Mac sat in the corner whilst mystical technians went about their daily work, looking over occasionally to monitor the monitor.

The days went past. The days turned into weeks. The weeks turned into a month. Still there was no sign of the gremlins and still there was no word from the mystical technicians. Phone calls elicited no solutions. Letters of complaint to the European HQ elicited no reply, nor acknowledgement.

The photographer now lives in a nether world where the sands of time, ironically called ‘AppleCare,’ are slowly running out. A ‘promised land’ where dreams turn to nightmares.; where time ceases to exist in quite the way it used to in the days before Mac world.

Will this tale have a happy ending? Will the mystical technicians defeat the gremlins? Will AppleCare care? Will a knight in shining armour called “Legal Action” need to be summoned?

Find out in the next instalment of The Adventures in Mac World.

(A cautionary tale set in the fictious Mac World, based on the true story of one photography student and his computer)